Castle life

x
Dove
Connor was silent for most of the time, and Dove spend most of the dinner stealing quick glances at him before looking away nervously again. She was suddenly very glad for all the times she had had to spend whole evenings listening to diplomatic banter from one of Caspian's boring guests, because it had caused her to practice keeping any emotion or thoughts clear from her face. So she listened to Garren's stories with a plain face, taking small bites from her plate. "I am not going to bore you by telling you about the details, also because of the lady of course," he said. Dove pulled out one of her fake polite smiles. "Please don't hold back because of me. I know how much my husband enjoys these kinds of things," she told him. They ate in silence for a while, until Garren had finished his plate and started talking again. Dove enjoyed his stories, but she couldn't help but compare them to the stories Connor used to tell her. She preferred his. Connor was silent, however, and Dove wasn't sure if that was because he was mad at her, or just uncomfortable. Possibly both, she thought grimly.
"I am sorry but can I be excused? I am pretty worn out and I want to be of good service tomorrow," he said. Dove looked up, before she turned in her seat to look at Caspian. He seemed to be torn between playing the good host and decide they would all go to bed, or staying here with Garren for a little while longer. Dove decided to take the decision for him, giving him a quick smile before speaking. "I am feeling a little tired myself as well," she lied. "I can fetch a servant for you to guide you back to your chambers before I return to mine as well. That way you can stay for a little while longer," she said, nodding towards Garren and Caspian. The latter seemed relieved at her proposal, and he gave her hand a quick grateful squeeze. "A wonderful idea my love. A good night to you both," he added.
Dove barely dared to look at Connor as she rose from her seat and told Garren and Caspian goodbye, leading the way towards the hall. Garret, the guard still standing outside, seemed to frown a little as he saw Connor, but Dove gave him a cold, hard look that made him turn away again. "I'm sure Garren is enough protection for my husband in his own house, don't you think?" She asked him. "You should get a good night of sleep," she added, smiling at Garret. He gave her a slightly annoyed look before he managed to hide it, and walked away. When the doors of the dinner hall fell closed, she turned to Connor with a nervous feeling in her stomach. "We need to talk," she decided, eyeing his face before she lowered her eyes to the wall beside him. "Come to the stables tomorrow morning? Please?" 
of awkward, at least so it appeared to Connor. He just didn’t really feel at ease here and in the end, he did speak. “I am sorry but can I be excused? I am pretty worn out and I want to be of good service tomorrow.” He said with a flat voice that didn’t betray anything.

He left Garren and Gaspian behind. That was because Dove wanted to go to bed as well. The, kind of well known in the past, guard stood at the door and Dove said something to him. Still Connor could not believe his eyes nor his ears. He was with Dove again after four years off time and it seemed like no time had passed. Both had aged of course but his feelings regarding dove hadn’t changed one bit.
"I'm sure Garren is enough protection for my husband in his own house, don't you think?" She asked him, his answer was just a grunt. He wasn’t feeling like answering a question when the word ‘husband’ was involved.
"You should get a good night of sleep," she added, smiling at Garret. He gave her a slightly annoyed look before he managed to hide it, and walked away, that was amusing, Connor thought. Though he didn’t smile. When the doors of the dinner hall fell close behind them, she turned to
. "We need to talk," she said.
“O do we.” He said, he didn’t stop walking though. He had to go to his room, he couldn’t risk it to be seen with Dove, talking about the good old days and all that kind of stuff.
"Come to the stables tomorrow morning? Please?" she begged him.
Of course that hurt him, he wouldn’t be human if he wouldn’t care about her anymore. Still, years had changed him and he wasn’t ready for giving all of that up just to talk with her again.
“I am not sure, Lady.” He answered as he continued walking. “I could really use a night of rest. I am sure there is a servant who will escort you to your room.” He said, with that he disappeared around the corner, heading to his own room.

Once in his room he let him fall down onto the bed and he sighed. His head was hurting and he felt so strange. He was now a servant to the woman he had loved but because he had done so he was now in this strange position, things could go weird sometimes.

He woke up in the morning. Garren was still asleep but it was early enough to go out for a hunt before breakfast and then guard duty. He would use the spare time he had to go out and enjoy the little freedom that he had re-earned. Connor grabbed his bow and closed to door to his room quietly, then he was on his way to the forest.

x
Dove
"Oh, do we," Connor replied when she told him they needed to talk. He kept on walking, and Dove did her best to follow him without looking as if she was purposefully following him. She might have send Garret away, there were still enough servants around that could see them.
When she asked him to come see her the next day, the short moment of silence rested heavy on her chest. "I am not sure, Lady," he answered. "I could really use a night of rest. I am sure there is a servant who will escort you to your room," he told her just before he rounded the corner and disappeared. Dove tried not to show the hurt on her face as she went the other way. Okay. He was mad at her, then. Honestly, she should have expected it. She had lied to him about everything, and as a consequence of that he had been sent to the King's Army.
She walked towards her chambers with a stone expression on her face, not even allowing it to crumble after a servant had helped her get out of her dress and into the bed. Maybe, if she just ignored the feeling, it would go away.

It did not go away. It was the next morning, and Dove had slipped out of bed with her usual excuse: a simple trip through the woods with Jonathan as her personal guard. It was what they did every morning, and who would question it? It wasn't unusual for a princess to want some time for herself, after all. Her own horse, Godiva, was already saddled and ready, and Jonathan was waiting for her outside. She thanked the stable boy with a quick smile before mounting her horse and exiting the stables. Caspian had given her the dapple grey mare as a wedding gift, and even though Dove had been reluctant at the time, it was hard not to love the animal. 
"Ready, my lady?" Jonathan asked when she approached him, and she gave him a quick nod. He turned his horse around and they made their way towards the woods together. Dove could feel the excitement bubbling up despite what had happened the past evening. 
Half an hour later they were deep enough in the woods for the chance to walk into someone that could recognise Dove to be very slim. Jonathan pulled Dove's bow out of his bag - it would be a little too risky for her to keep it herself - and Dove smiled. "I want to try it from horseback today," she told Jonathan. He gave her a slightly dubious look, but handed her the bow nonetheless. "I mean, I can shoot from the ground well enough after three years of practicing," she explained. "But the chance I'm on Godiva's back if I will need to defend myself is pretty big, won't you say?" 
She took the bow and quickly felt the smooth wood it was made from. "Okay, hand me an arrow. I'll see if I can hit something at all before I want to try targets." Jonathan smiled at that, and Dove felt herself relax even more. For some reason he always seemed to be a little less stiff during their practice hours.

Connor was so very happy to see the woods, that he had loved as a youngster, again after what seemed a hundred years. He found out that he hadn’t lost the feeling of the hunt. The calmness around him brought him back to days of long ago and some of the anger left him, at least for a little while it would.
More out of a habit than out of will at that moment, Connor put an arrow on his bow while he walked. If there would be any danger, or a good pray, he wasn’t going to be unprepared for it. For a minute there he forgot what was actually going on at that time. He forgot about him having been away for four years, that he now served the woman he had loved and that she was married. Now he was again in the woods, caring about nothing that seemed important when he left them... it was just him out in the open now. How easy it would be to escape all of this, Connor caught himself thinking in a flash. He could though, he could escape. Nobody would really miss him and he would be able to start over again. Maybe he could go to some foreign county, take a new name... build a new life for himself. The thought was tempting but he shook himself awake. No, he couldn’t. He would be a fugitive and he knew what happened to deserters, he had seen it happen more than once. There were men who had had a life and had begged to go back to the old days. Some had tried to escape, but it all ended the same... in death. He wasn’t planning on dying yet. Even if he would serve these people for a few more years, he would still be able to retire soon if he did his job well and then... then he would be a free man again.
A small smile flashed across his face. This opportunity made him dare to hope again.

There was a sound right behind him. In a flash the young man turned around and loosened his arrow. The arrow hit the target and the beast in front of him collapsed. It had been a young stag, he hadn’t known that Connor had been standing there because Connor was up wind. Now the beast was dead and Connor kneeled at its side, slicing its throat.
In a minute the man put the dead animal over his shoulder and he started to walk again. It would probably be some walk back since he had been thinking allot while he walked, not really paying attention. Soon he found an old mark of his that told him he would be back at the house in an hour. However something ruined it all for him. He heard a man’s voice, a woman answered and there was the sound of hooves. Out of nowhere there was an arrow coming his way and he ducked away. Anger overtook him as he marched out of the bushed to face the two idiots. “You stupid idiots! Can’t you think for yourselves? You could have killed someone! Me for a fact. Go and shoot somewhere else, you’ll do more damage than good here in this forest.” Connor raged angrily. It was at the end that he noticed he had been shouting at Dove and some attendant of hers. As the servant he was he immediately apologised, because he knew that the man would otherwise tell the prince. “Excuse me. I shouldn’t have put it that way.” He muttered.

x
Dove
She took in a deep breath, taking a moment to enjoy the feeling of the bow in her hands. She relished the slight strain in the muscles of her arm as she pulled the string backwards. With Jonathan's instruction still in her memory, she focused on the feeling, instead of Godiva impatiently shaking her head or Jonathan muttering something about sensibility. 
As soon as she let go of the bow, she knew it wouldn't be very impressive. In fact, it would be a wonder if the arrow had found any target at all. Right before she had let go with her string hand, Godiva had made a nervous side step. She understood now why people always said it was completely different from horseback. She didn't have much time to think about that, however, because soon she could hear someone's angry foot steps approaching. Dove's heart went cold, and she quickly threw the bow back to Jonathan in the hope that whoever was here in the woods wouldn't find out the actual purpose of her morning walks.
"You stupid idiots! Can't you think for yourselves? You could have killed someone! Me, for a fact. Go and shoot somewhere else, you'll do more damage than good here in this forest."
Dove lowered her hands as it dawned on her why she recognised the voice. Right after her realisation, Connor appeared in front of them. She wasn't sure if she had to laugh or cry. She was fairly sure she could do both at the moment.
"Excuse me, I shouldn't have put it that way," he muttered. Dove showed him a nervous smile, his rejection from the night before still fresh in her mind. "Well, it's a bit late for that, wouldn't you say?" She told him, not being able to hold in the words. Great. Well done, Dove. Way to make him forgive you.
"I- I mean, I'm sorry, I didn't know- no one comes to these woods anymore," she stammered, trying to explain herself, when she realised she had practically confessed it had been her arrow by talking in first person. In former times, she would have immediately trusted him not to tell a thing, but now she wasn't very certain anymore. He had seemed mad at her the night before, and Dove couldn't blame him. Would he tell Caspian just to prevent himself from being in the same situation from four years back again? 
"I- please don't tell anyone about this," she said, ignoring Jonathan's warning glares. He probably thought there had been something left to safe, but he wasn't aware of the fact that Connor knew her. He was clever enough to figure out who really had fired that arrow. As if someone from the king's guard would miss so miserably. "Are you-," she started, biting her lip. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"Well, it's a bit late for that, wouldn't you say?" She told him. Of course Connor tried to ignore that, though it wasn’t as easy as he thought it would be. His hands formed fists because he felt so angry at that moment, but he couldn’t do anything about it and so he let his breath go and tried to relax.
“Perhaps.” He answered curtly. He was looking down at the ground for a moment because he couldn’t handle looking at her directly. He fought the urge to turn around and just walk away. He couldn’t do that. there was somebody else here so if he would leave and Dove would do nothing to prevent it, it would raise suspicion. Even at that moment Connor already thought about the man as an uncertainty. He now knew that there was something between the new guard and his Lady.
"I- I mean, I'm sorry, I didn't know- no one comes to these woods anymore," she stammered now, trying to explain herself. With that she also confirmed his theory that it had been her who had shot the arrow in the first place. Of course that guy was trying to teach her how to hunt or protect herself, he did a lousy job.
"I- please don't tell anyone about this," she asked him. For a moment he was silent, looking at the man who was looking at Dove in That way, which was totally logical because he had no idea who Connor was but a stranger who had been sent here to be a guard.
“I won’t tell anyone, my lady.” He said, adding the last part because he had to. There were so may thing he wanted to say to her, mostly things about how she sucked at this because she didn’t take care enough.
"Are you-," she started, biting her lip. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"
Connor sighed and shook his head. “I am fine.” He answered curtly. His eyes now stopped at the man next to her. “Perhaps you could introduce me to your company, my lady? It would be good to know who I am acquainted with, for future encounters that is.” Connor said. Looking at the man with his eyes a little squinted. He seemed trustworthy enough now, maybe if he got to know him better he would be able to talk with the man. It would be nice to talk to somebody that wasn’t Garren.

“I should be heading back to the castle. There are some things I have to ask before I want to start my first day.” He said after a while. “It was nice to meet you, Jonathan.” He said to the man. “Be careful around these parts, my lady. There are... dangers in these woods at this time of day.” He added. With that he turned around, disappeared behind the bushes, grabbed the dead stag from the ground and started to walk back. His bow was still on his back with the arrow.
It could have gone worse, he thought while he walked. But it hadn’t been good seeing her like that. it raised memories from days long passed, memories he desperately wanted to forget. From now he would only see her as the Lady, the princess. He couldn’t afford any suspicion about his relation to Dove, it would end bad for the both of them if the prince found out. “Stupid politics.” He grunted.
Not long after that he was back at the castle, he delivered the stag at the kitchens and then he started to look for the man in charge of the guard. He had to know what was expected of him before he would do anything.

x
Dove
Immediately after the words had left her mouth, she regretted them. She could see Connor's hands forming into fists. "Perhaps," he answerd curtly. He was staring at the ground, and Dove felt the sudden need to scream something at him. How could he be so in control? Why did he even think it was necessary? There was no one here to see, outside of Jonathan, but he couldn't really see him as a threat. Could he?
"I won't tell anyone, my lady," Connor said after she asked him not to tell. She couldn't really relax at the words, not really. She wanted to tell him he could just call her Dove, but that would be lying. "Perhaps you could introduce me to your company, my lady? It would be goot to know who I am acquainted with, for future encounters that is," he said. She watched the two men, both guards now, looking at each other in a way that made Dove twitch nervously in her saddle. "Oh, right," she answered. "This is Jonathan. He has- erm-," she suddenly lost what she had been about to say, staring at Connor a little helplessly. Jonathan, gentleman that he was, stepped in seamlessly. "I have been with Mrs. Elmer since she was a little girl." Dove twisted the reins in her fists when she heard him speak the surname of Caspian. After four years, she still wasn't entirely used to it.
"I should be heading back to the castle. There are some things I have to ask before I want to start my first day," Connor said after a while. "It was nice to meet you, Jonathan. Be careful around these parts my lady. There are.. dangers in these woods at this time of day," he said. Dove pursed her lips, holding back the urge to tell him she wasn't as vulnerable as she used to be. She watched as he turned around, a stag slung over his shoulders - weren't those things supposed to be heavy? -, until Jonathan asked her if she wanted to give it another try. Deciding she would put her anger at least to some use, she nodded.

After another two hours, they returned, Dove with arms that felt sore and Jonathan with a straining back after all the times he'd had to bend down to pick up one of Dove's arrows. Despite the run-in with Connor, she felt quite good. The stable boy was already walking towards them as they approached, and Dove threw him a thankful smile. "Give her something extra, will you? She's worked hard today," she said as she slid off Godiva's back.

When he had finally found the head of the prince’s guard it was nearly time for dinner. The man had been hard to find, he was all over the place and every time Conner reached the place he had previously been, he had already moved on to the next. It was like a wild goose chase.
In the end however it turned out okay. The head of the guard was called Ivar and he was a good man. He had these wrinkles around the eyes which betrayed the fact that he had a good sense of humour, a quality Conner liked allot. Ivar showed him around a little afterwards he was sent to his own room he had in a building shared with the other soldiers who lived on the prince’s properties.

Though the room was tiny and awful looking, Conner could live with it. He had his own room, an improvement to his previous accommodation he had shared with five other soldiers during the war at the front. Although it wasn’t personal, he was sure he could make something of it. A bit of hunting, little shopping at the market and it would be as if he owned a place to call his own. A stab run through him and he sighed, lowering himself onto the bed. Things he had once known, once dreamt of, seemed to get farther away with every passing day. When at one time he had simply dreamt of having a home, a wife and children, now he only dreamt to be a free man again. Damn him, he was now even in service of a prince. He had known men at the front who had served kings and their likes and he had heard the stories they told ever so often. Court intrigue, corruption... murders, politics... he looked out of the small window, in fact the only window in his room, and wondered what his life would be like if he had never followed Dove home that day to make sure she was safe.
His thoughts were ripped from his mind’s eye by the voice of a man.
“Connor.” He suddenly heard and he rose from his bed, left the room and went outside. One of the other sentries had called him through his window and he knew what he had to do now... more guarding. “Supper will be brought to you at your post. Good luck.” The man said, handing him some gear afterwards he left.

It was cold that night. Winter was upon them, he knew. Though he longed to get away from this place he didn’t feel any envy for the men he knew were even colder them him at the front. Yes, they were his friends but he also knew that one day he might receive the news of one of them being no more. He missed them, that was for sure, he had been on the way for weeks and now he was in active service of the prince for already a week.
After the little encounter in the woods he had taken care to avoid Dove. He couldn’t make himself face her at this point, he shouldn’t. And so he had taken on as many guard duties as possible.
“Connor.” Someone called and he looked down to the court yard.
“What?” he answered curtly.
“The prince wants to see you. Guess he wants you to come with some of the others to escort him to the king’s palace.”
Connor grunted and sighed. “Fine, be there in a bit.”
Another man took his post and he went with Locke to the prince’s quarters.

x
Dove
He was avoiding her. It had taken her a few days to accept that fact, but now there was no way around it anymore. She hadn't seen Connor all week, while she bumped into all of the other guards everywhere. It was very hard to be alone in this place, let alone avoid someone, but Connor had managed it. It shouldn't have surprised her. 
Luckily for Dove, she had had enough to distract herself from what that could mean. Caspian had told her a day after the incident in the forest. Today they would be visiting the King, something to do with the people but mostly just so the two brothers could speak to each other. Dove didn't really care for the reason why, as long as she could tick off a few things of her own agenda. 
Her stomach felt fluttery with nerves as one of the maids helped her get into her dress. Her shoulders already felt heavy from the drapes of fabric and glittering gems embroidered into the neckline of the dress. "These dresses are tiring," she muttered, and it earned her a soft chuckle from the maid. "Well, they do make you look even more stunning, my lady," she said, tying up the dress in the back. "Besides, they don't expect you to walk very long distances, so you should be alright." Dove flashed the maid a quick smile in the mirror. She liked this woman. She wasn't as scared to speak to her as most of the other servants.
"You're right, of course," Dove responded, holding up her hair so the maid could fasten the dress at the top. She looked at her reflection in the mirror as the maid continued to help her fit the dress, and when that was done she sat down on a soft chair so another servant could help with her hair. It was always so much work, and all for a man she didn't even like. 
She had met the King a few times now, as was needed since she had married Prince Caspian, and he had given her the chills each and every time. It always made her think of Connor, and the way he used to speak about the King's Guards. 
"You're all ready, my lady," the servant behind her said, and Dove blinked, a little surprised that time had gone by so quick. "Thank you," she said, and the maid gave a quick nod before she scurried off. Dove stared at the mirror, the nerves returning again, before she took a deep breath and got up from the chair. It seemed one of the servants had already predicted her need for her personal guard, as Jonathan was stood waiting for her in the hallway. 
"My lady, you look beautiful," he said, and Dove fought the urge to roll her eyes. She was flattered, of course, but after a while all of the staff feeling obligated to compliment her became a bit tiring. 
"I need you to stay close to me today, Jonathan," she breathed, not wanting any of the servants to hear her. Jonathan's face turned a little more serious, and he nodded. "Understood, princess."
Dove gave a quick nod, then gathered the fabric of her dress in her hands and started walking down the hallway, Jonathan close behind her.

It was almost as if everyone was wiped from the face of the earth. Everywhere he went, Connor saw nobody. He knew for a fact that all the maids and squires would be getting all their stuff together for the journey to the king’s court in the capitol but he hadn’t imagined it to be so… desolated.
He walked down the hallway, towards the prince’s chambers. He could hear the man crying for something, shouting to someone, about something or someone else. Connor grunted when he heard that. He wasn’t in the mood for serving spoiled rich princes, not today.
The soldier had just received a letter no longer than two days ago, telling him how things were going at the front. One of his old friend had died, an arrow in the chest. At least it was a quick death, he thought, recalling what the letter told him, that his friend was shot clean in the heart. The man probably died right there.
Something brought him back to the land of the living, a woman’s voice. Connor recognized the voice that same second and he started to walk a little faster. He was doing his best to avoid her and because she was probably heading towards the same chambers as he was, he wanted to be there first. Yes, it would seem like child’s play but he couldn’t care any less.

Quickly he opened the door and walked into the prince’s room. The man was standing in the middle, shouting to a poor squire, one of the two Connor actually liked. It was something about being unfit and at that point Connor stopped listening, he just wanted to be done with it.
“Connor, thank god at least one sensible man around me. Please, come closer, I want to talk to you about what’s going to happen. You’re going the be second in command. I’ll let Gardan tell you everything afterwards.” And so a very long afternoon started.
After his meeting with the prince, Connor was bid to see Gardan, head of the prince’s personal guard. He told Connor all the man had to know about his new post and with that done they had only little time to ready themselves for the actual journey. The next morning they would leave at first light so that they would be on time for dinner with the king.